Eilis O'Neal (eilis_oneal) wrote,
Eilis O'Neal

Mascot News

It’s been a while since I posted an update on my two mascot dogs, Nemo and Zuul. And since they’ve had ACTUAL EXPLOITS in recent days, I thought I’d share. . . .

It’s bedtime several nights ago. I am already in bed, having been struck down earlier with the migraine to end all migraines (really, at one point I was curled up on the bathroom floor, just waiting to throw up. It was Not Fun). I haven’t quite managed to go to sleep yet, though, and I hear Matt calling for the dogs. Then I hear him come into the bedroom and rummage around for a flashlight and go back out and call some more. Now, our backyard isn’t huge, and there’s nowhere to hide in it, so I’m quickly realizing that something’s wrong. Just about the time that I’ve decided to haul my migrainey self out of bed, though, I hear the jingle of collars, followed by the slam of the door and Matt saying exasperatedly, “You are bad, Nemo!”

Because, apparently, the dogs have decided that ONE backyard isn’t enough for them. No, they need TWO. After checking that the gate was locked, Matt had finally, in desperation, climbed up to peer over the neighbors’ privacy fence into their backyard and saw our dogs trying to sneak back under their trailer and through a hole in the fence that we hadn’t realized was there. (Of course, they did this sneaking poorly, because while Nemo is completely convinced that he is as sneaky as a master ninja he is, in fact, about as sneaky as a turnip.) So we lock them in for the night, get up in the morning and block the hole as best we can.

The real kicker here doesn’t happen until the afternoon, though, when we see the neighbor come home from work. So we go over to tell him that our dogs got into his yard, we’ve done the best we can to block the hole, and could he let us know if he sees them in there again? His response: “Oh yeah, they’ve been doing that for a while.”

Which leads me to the question: What else are they doing while we’re out of the house? Hosting illicit chew bone gambling rings? Removing their collars and streaking naked through the neighborhood? (It also leads me to the question of why my neighbor didn’t think I might like to know that my dogs had taken up occasional residence in his yard, but that’s another story.) Apparently, however, we might need to revise how much we make fun of Nemo for his nonsneakiness, because it sounds like they’ve been doing this for about a month and we’ve never seen a hint of it before this. Or perhaps Zuul is unexpectedly the ringleader of other-yard-takeover (which would be strange because Zuul is rarely the leader of anything) and has been serving as Jedi master of sneakiness to Nemo’s padawan.

So that’s the story on my mascots. I’ve been mulling over the best punishment for their waywardness. I’m leaning toward dressing them up in Christmas costumes and taking pictures of them to document their shame.

Nemo is unrepentant.

Zuul just thinks he is more fabulous now.
Tags: dogs

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